The Celluloligists explained to Rome, after she had given up on ignoring them, that she had a place in the world. That even in America, the country that at first had loved her, then insulted her, and now intended to let her starve, that even there she still fulfilled as important a job in our society as one’s hand or foot. Even at thirty-five feet tall, Rome equaled the same essential functions as one’s own stomach or lungs. Celebrities served a purpose for all mankind. They were a key part of people’s lives, a way for them to project their own fantasies and nightmares through a filter that kept them from engaging in such unhealthy behavior themselves. If you go on the Celluloligist website you can find an in-depth explanation of all this and an FAQ. Technically, they compare celebrities to the liver, “so important for processing drugs and alcohol”, and talk about how impossible it would be to survive without one. I’m not much of a Christian and I certainly don’t practice Cellulology either, but trying to think of movie stars as way to filter substance abuse seems counter-intuitive to me. Still, Rome and countless other celebrities ate it up. The Celluloligists offered Rome clothing spun by their members whose job wasn’t to be wealthy but rather work for the world mind. She moved further South, onto the very compound that the Celluloligists resided and farmed their all-natural goods. She helped them farm the land, tripling their crops while learning to subsist on a meager diet of wheat and vegetables. Rome became cheaper. But even this small peace was not to last for her, because even the Celluloligists had their strange beliefs. The purpose behind turning the planet Earth into a world mind was the oncoming approach of an evil galactic empire composed of evil world minds. These beings were bent on absolute subjugation and the only way to save the Earth was to organize the species into a whole and project our own psychic counter-attack. Naturally, this article of their faith was generally not brought up (least of all in the FAQ) but it eventually leaked to the global internet community. Rome, the biggest member of the cult, was back in the news. She grew taller.
