A solution eventually presented itself from the one group in America that knows how to look after its own: celebrities. One night while Rome was sobbing and clutching her already worn blanket to sleep, a helicopter landed on the ranch. Bank agents had arrived to foreclose on the Ranch, but on advice from some a few soft-hearted lawyers Rome simply acted as if she could not hear them when they tried to tell Rome to leave. It would only work for a few months, but they couldn’t make her leave until she was properly served with the foreclosure suit. When the helicopter landed Rome was counting the days before she would be the biggest homeless person in America. She immediately assumed the helicopter was the bank and tried to cover her ears as the loud speaker came alive. “Rome! Do not cover your ears! We are missionaries from Los Angeles! We’re the rich & famous, just like you!” Which was mostly true. The people who had flown out to see Rome were Cellulists. They were a cult, though I feel like that’s being harsh. A group of Scientologists who had enjoyed the philosophy and science of their former faith but disliked the brainwashing and enslavement had created their own schism within the movement. They believed that millions of years ago human beings had been a series of separate entities. The bacteria in our stomach, the mitochondria in our cells, and even our own brains had been separate beings that through a natural impulse had united to form a greater being. Dozens of different warring bacteria, cells, and viruses had put aside their differences and formed an alliance to create the human race. They believed that humanity must now do the same thing and unite into one global entity. They referred to this being as the world mind and achieving it involved a great deal of meditation, donations, and wild sex. Like I said, it’s a cult but that’s being a bit harsh. Most of the members were having a really good time.
